The (Un)happy Birthday Depression!

Here I am, writing with shaky hands, drinking Whiskey right out of the bottle. It’s my birthday.
What a beautiful day. Happy carcass jubilee to meeeeeeee…..yeah!

My room smells of flowers and the new perfume I bought myself today, my hair smells of smoke and my breath smells of booze and the garlic pesto I ate today, because I knew that no one would come around to say hi (thought about drinking the perfume first, at least that would have made the 70 bucks I spent on it kinda well-invested…but it smells too good to actually drink it. So I guess If I’m not happy and funny, I can at least smell happy and funny….just to be the perfect illusion everyone expects)  Continue reading


You Know You’re German When…

I just found this awesome blog on tumblr that really made me laugh, called “You know you’re German when…”
I just felt like a wrting a fun post, rather than anything else…I feel awesome today, honestly I do 🙂

people who don’t speak English very well (and I’d say many Germans don’t) tend to translate everything literally: “not the yellow from the egg” (Nicht das Gelbe vom Ei) means that something isn’t quite as good as it could be….and “but it goes!” (Aber es geht) basically means “but it’s okay” or “so-so”

A “Gymnasium” in Germany could be compared to a secondary school….or grammar school. And if you wanted to translate the English word gymnasium you’d say “Turnhalle”

We’ve got several waste bins: one for plastic, one for paper, one for glass (bottles, jars etc. (and you can seperate them again into green, brown and white glass)), one for bio waste and another one for residual waste.

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The Worst Thing About School…

…is the cooking :/

We have to cook something every week and are graded for it…so there’s absolutely no way I could wriggle myself out of it.
Honestly, I like cooking in general…as long as I don’t have to eat it, especially when I was told what to cook…and mostly, what my teacher wants me to cook TOTALLY differs from my opinion of how a perfect meal has to look like -.-*…meaning vegetables, lean fish, fresh fruits for example…and as little fat as possible.
My teacher however, is more into the traditional German cooking…which means we’re forced to cook a lot of stuff that is greasy and full of carbs/sugar.

But even worse is, that we’re supposed to have a taste of EVERYTHING we cook. And not only of our stuff, but of the dishes of the rest of the class too -.-*
Let’s say there are 8 people, each cooking a three-course menu = 32 samples Ö.Ö

I’m constantly trying to avoid this in all kinds of ways (like discarding most of the food in a plastic bag under the table) …because I don’t want to stuff my face with loads of unnecessary calories and fat.
We’re currently cooking stuff for the obese…so the dishes are already calorie-reduced and low-fat but it’s still just gross. And what am I supposed to do when we start cooking shit for anorexics (whatever they consider as anorexic…I don’t mind if people are skinny as long as they’re healthy)? Hidden fat and calories en masse Ö.Ö….oh god.

Every week I’m just sitting there nibbling at my piece of cucumber, watching the others wolfing down loads of food…and I’m just like:


Heeelloooo? We’re supposed to tell obese people what to eat, so they can become healthier and lead a happier life…and I think, that you have to practise what you preach…on the one hand to come across as credible and on the other hand to look appropriate. You can’t be fat and then tell fat people that they’re doing something wrong.
They’re overweight for god’s sake…not brain-dead.

Song Of The Week #1 – “My Life Changed” by William Fitzsimmons

A couple of days ago I stumbled upon William Fitzsimmons, a singer-songwriter from Jacksonville, Illinois.
On some website I read an article where he was considered “equal parts songwriter and psychotherapist”…which sounds absolutely legit to me 🙂
To be honest…this song kinda caught me off guard…considering my bad experiences involving car accidents and loved ones, this made me cry…and nevertheless, it also made me think of all the good times we had together.
A strange thing, that only music can do 🙂

Multi(t)asking?? – What’s That?

I’m a girl….so I just have to be able to magically activate my multitasking abilities, right? Right?
As you can see above, this is how my small, cozy (haha) spot in out living room looks right now ….I’m currently dividing my time between toooo many things and my brain seems to be slowly expanding, like a balloon….of the ghoulish and creepy sort 😯 Continue reading

‪I Can Go The Distance

When I was a child, I used to watch a lot of Disney movies and even now that I’m grown-up I still enjoy them immensely (which just reinforces my opinion that one’s never too old for Disney movies ^^)…Hercules is one of my favourites =)

The song “I Can Go The Distance” (which was initially sung by Michael Bolton) still gives me the shivers (in a positive way of course^^) every time I listen to it. It conveys so much emotion and has a lot of truth in it….like so many other Disney songs and stories….In this case the message is definitely: Never give up and dare to fight for your dreams!