I hurt him, I insulted him when he wanted to make up for the time we had lost….and now I got my comeuppance. I’ve never hated myself as much as I do right now. I’ve been seeing it wrong the entire time… instead of being happy that he even talked to me after all the things that I had done to him, I was angry about him not being overly thankful that I had finally gotten off my high horse ö.Ö How full of yourself do you have to be to actually think that other people should kiss your feet for being obnoxious, refusing to give love but expecting others to give it to you?
He wouldn’t talk to me anymore, so I wrote him. I hope he read it.
I’m done. I give up.
A couple of days ago I stumbled upon William Fitzsimmons, a singer-songwriter from Jacksonville, Illinois.
On some website I read an article where he was considered “equal parts songwriter and psychotherapist”…which sounds absolutely legit to me 🙂
To be honest…this song kinda caught me off guard…considering my bad experiences involving car accidents and loved ones, this made me cry…and nevertheless, it also made me think of all the good times we had together.
A strange thing, that only music can do 🙂
It’s one of those days that really makes me realize how fragile my newly found stability is and that I really have to be aware of my mental and physical impairments…..and to be honest: it sucks.
I’m going to start school tomorrow and right now, I feel like I was swimming in a huge pool of brain stew. It’s not only hot and scalding my skin but also downright disgusting.
I haven’t felt any kind of stress or pressure in a long time, because I’ve always had the possibility to avoid anything that could’ve been demanding/distressing and now that I’m going to have certain obligations again, everything appears to come apart at the seams once more. Continue reading