Stalker Weirdness

I’m not the asshole you think I am. But at the moment, I can’t help you with all the problems you apparently have to deal with…it’s on you. Sry :-*

Ok, I admit it…I’ve been a creepy bitch recently. I kind of freaked out. It was as if a certain stalker weirdness had grabbed me by my flesh tunnels…
And guess what?  I’m not sorry…

So, because this certain creepy-ass weirdness took hold of me again, I chose to go back to therapy.
My therapist’s not quite sure yet, what to do about it, but she said “We’ll see!” We’ll see…that’s the last thing I wanna hear from people, especially my therapist (runners-up spot goes to “with all due respect” btw)

So why did I freak out in the first place?
Well…this nice little quote at the top of the page, is from my ex….he wrote that, a couple of days ago….after I had been text-stalking him for a week or so (after he came back from a four-week trip to Bali….well I guess the recreational effect of his hippie vacation must have evaporated right before his eyes when he read my text messages xD Don’t wanna see my phone bills now, after writing like 20 text messages to Bali…I’m sure my sms-flat doesn’t cover that ö.Ö)
I threatened him, I reproached him for all the things he did to me, for the things he said or didn’t say.
One minute I tell him how much I love him…just to bitch about what monster-asshole he is like… two minutes later.
I’m not myself at the moment :/
I know I’m weird and creepy and he’s probably lying awake at night, fearing that I come climbing in through his window, just to strangle him to death with one of the ties, his granny so lovingly ironed for him…but I’m just so frustrated with the whole situation that I’m constantly at the brink of losing my self-control.

My therapist put my entire situation into 4 little words: “HE IS AN ASSHOLE!” (Yeah, she really said that to me)
And then she asked me: “Why aren’t you ready to let go?”

Honestly….I don’t know. I’m still thinking about this…and I guess there’s just one answer to that: I love him!
I may have a strange way of showing it, and that’s what he’s probably considering my worst problem, that he can’t help me with.
But he ain’t any better….he’s a macho dirtbag. An adorable macho dirtbag….I have to grant him that.


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